A Shattered Demon Child
by xXstarryXnightXx
Summary: After his more recent strange behavior and "accidental" injuries, Kakashi and Iruka confront Naruto and demand answers for his unusual behavior and strange activities. However, the begin to learn how the young boy has kept up his act for so many years. WARNING, contains self harm, depression, suicidal thoughts, etc.
1. Author's Note

Why hello again, fellow readers and reviewers. Before you begin reading, there are some things that I'd like to tell you are going to be contained in this story to warn you. The following story contains; **suicidal thoughts, self harm, depression, self hate, anxiety attacks, panic attacks, and abuse.**

Alright, now that we've got that taken care of, if you don't like any of the above, you might need to re-think reading this fanfic. Also, there will **absolutely no yaoi or lemons in this story.**

Thank you,

xXstarryXnightXx


	2. Chapter 1

A Shattered Demon Child

 **Part 1**

When it originally started, nobody noticed anything at all. What was there to notice about a demon child like him? He was just a bratty, stupid demon child and everyone made sure to remind him. He didn't need to constant reminders of what he was and what they thought he was. Granted, the knew nothing good about him, that didn't stop him from becoming what was a nearly half-decent ninja in the making. Nobody gave him a chance and he didn't blame them for it. He felt the same way as Gaara did; he didn't have a real purpose. When he heard Gaara say it, it struck a nerve and reminded him of everything he was and everything he'd ever be; nothing.

While the boy didn't understand why everyone hated him so much, he gave up believing they were wrong and that he'd done nothing wrong. In fact, they made him feel as if he'd done everything in his life wrong and that everything he did hurt someone who didn't deserve to be hurt. Some days, he didn't want to get up and train with Team 7. There were even the days where he was late any either Sakura or Kakashi would ask if he were okay, but those days were rare. He never told them why he was late or anything, he just sighed a halfhearted apology and they overlooked it as anything but him being lazy or sleeping in. No more questions were asked.

As the annoyed Uchiha and his pink haired teammate waited for Naruto and Kakashi to show up, the sun started rising behind them. Sakura sighed and asked, "Why are those two always late?"

Sasuke shrugged. "Dunno."

Sakura sighed and kept looking towards the village for her sensei and her idiot teammate. As the two teammates waited, eventually, Kakashi appeared suddenly from a cloud of smoke. He said, "Yo. Good morning, students."

Sakura sighed. "Looks like Naruto is late again."

Kakashi sighed and said, "I guess we should wait on him then. We'll give him about ten minutes."

The other two nodded, but Sasuke broke the silence. The boy with empty black eyes asked, "Why do we have to wait on him? He's being lazy anyway."

Kakashi said, "We have to give him a chance, Sasuke."

The boy rolled his eyes as they waited. A minute later, they saw a ninja in orange run up. Naruto tried to catch his breathe, like he'd ran a marathon. He gasped, "Sorry. I'm. Late."

Kakashi sighed and asked, "Why were you late this time?"

Naruto tried to brush off the question and said, "I just lost track of time, I have no excuse, really."

Kakashi could sense the lie just from how he was acting. He averted eye contact with him, he kept looking at the ground, and he looked as if he were lost in some sort of space far away. Kakashi made note of his actions and had to remember that he need ed to mention it to the Hokage later. However, he knew that it would have to wait until later because if it were any sooner, Naruto might get suspicious of his actions.

Kakashi cleared his throat and said, "Anyway, today we have a D rank mission, so nothing too hard."

All of Team 7 groaned and complained internally. Naruto crossed his arms and said, "Alright, what are the details."

Kakashi said with a monotone voice, "You have to help Mrs. Karin catch her cat. It shouldn't be much of a problem, but remember, this cat does have very sharp claws. Report back here after you're done."

The three nodded and started walking to the woman's house, who always seemed to have a problem with her cat running away. Kakashi studied Naruto closely as he followed Sasuke and Sakura. He had his hands in his pockets and his head angled to the ground, like he was thinking about something. This was not the Naruto Kakashi understood. Normally, Naruto would complain about the "kiddie" mission and that he wanted a "real" mission. Plus, Naruto would be talking about something and looking up, not being quiet and looking at the ground.

Kakashi had noticed some slow changes in the boys behavior for the past few weeks, but now, it was like Naruto stopped trying to hide it as much as normal. Kakashi saw it was an opportune time to go to see the Hokage and talk about Naruto's behavior. As he made his way down the street, he watched the team turn left toward the old woman's house. Not noticing Kakashi behind them, he turned right towards the Hokage's office. As he walked along the path, Kakashi thought about what might be going on with the young blonde. As he walked to the entrance to the building, Kakashi saw Iruka standing outside.

Iruka looked up at him and said, "Hey, Kakashi."

Kakashi greeted with a hand gesture, "Hello, Iruka. Have you seen the Hokage?"

Iruka said, "I believe he's inside in a meeting. I just spoke with one of his assistance. Why?"

Kakashi had a quick thought. Maybe Iruka might be more of help. Kakashi walked towards the shinobi and said, "I'm here to talk to him about Naruto."

He got the sensei's full attention at that moment. "What? Why? Did Naruto do something?"

Kakashi said, "He's been acting different lately. This morning, he was late meeting the rest of Team 7 at the bridge. He said he lost track of time."

"Naruto has been known for being late sometimes."

Kakashi explained, "I'm aware of that, but he's not even trying to defend his tardiness. He's also been behaving strangely."

Iruka had a knowing look. "What kind of 'strange' are we talking about?"

Kakashi squinted at the shinobi. "He avoids looking at people and he's been very quiet lately."

Iruka said calmly, "Before you go to the Hokage, could you do me a favor."

Kakashi nodded. "Sure. Do you want to speak with him?"

He answered, "Yeah, I might be able to get some answers out of him. He'll talk to me."

"Very well. I'll be meeting them after they get done with Mrs. Karin's cat."

Iruka blinked. "Did Naruto even complain?"

Kakashi shook his head. The white-haired shinobi said, "No, he said nothing against it."

"There's something really wrong then. Naruto hates that cat."

"I'm very aware," Kakashi commented.

After they made small talk and made arrangements about what to do about Naruto, the decided the plan was to talk to him after the D rank mission that day in the afternoon when Kakashi was to meet them. He assumed it would take them all day to track down and capture the cat, not to mention the fact they had to listen to Mrs. Karin talk about her cat and offer them tea and cookies, which was never optional. They'd meet Kakashi right before sunset, and after Naruto walked off, Iruka would "randomly" see Naruto and offer him ramen.

Iruka walked away after they said their brief goodbyes, planning to meet later after dark when Iruka questioned Naruto about his strange behavior. Kakashi walked away towards the bridge where he planned to read his novel until the students returned. He read about fifty pages before sunset was coming soon. When Kakashi put his novel down, it wasn't long after then his students came back, looking exhausted from chasing the cat down. Team 7 stood before him, exhausted and covered in scratches, especially Naruto.

Kakashi asked, "So, how'd it go?"

Sakura huffed, "We got the cat back home."

Sasuke said, "Yeah, and dobe here got clawed pretty bad."

Naruto said tiredly, "We got the cat, didn't we? Who cares."

Kakashi noticed the bitterness in his tone and cleared his throat. He said, "Good work, guys. We have no mission tomorrow, so take it easy. 'Kay?"

They all nodded. Kakashi waved as he turned into smoke and disappeared. Sasuke walked away, waving and muttering goodbye. Sakura ran after him, like usual, leaving Naruto alone. The blonde boy let out a sigh of relief as he was finally tired of pretending to be somewhat lively. He walked forward and followed the two into the village. He made his way home and villagers stared and muttered to each other. Naruto just ignored it and kept walking, pretending not to hear a word they were saying. He kept his eyes on the grounds before.

As he walked forward, he wasn't paying attention to what or who was in front of him. He bumped into a tall body of a shinobi. Naruto was knocked backwards, but Iruka caught his wrist before the boy could fall. Naruto got to his feet and said with a sheepish smile, "Hey, Iruka-sensei. Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you."

Iruka smiled and said, "It's alright, Naruto. How've you been doing?"

Naruto gave him a big fake smile and said, "I've been doing great! How about you?"

Iruka noticed the hints that told him Naruto was lying to him. He ignored his instinct to ask the boy what was going on and stuck with the plan. Iruka said, "I'm alright, I was about to grab some ramen. Would you like to join me?"

Naruto shook his head and said, "Thanks Iruka-sensei, but I'm really tired and I just wanna go home and sleep."

That through up a red flag. Naruto would never tell Iruka no to ramen. Ever.

Iruka asked, "Are you sure?"

Naruto nodded with a fake smile on his face and said, "Yeah, thanks though. See ya later, sensei!"

Without another word, the boy ran off towards his apartment, clearly hiding something. Iruka stood in quiet shook. Something was wrong with Naruto. Before Iruka could think of his next move, a voice said, "I think you see my concern now."

Iruka turned to Kakashi and said, "Yes, I do. I myself am concerned now. That's not the Naruto I know. He'd never turn down ramen."

Kakashi and Iruka both then understood that something was going on with the young knucklehead-ninja. Iruka asked, "What should we do? We could follow him."

Kakashi nodded and said, "That might be what we have to do, and we need to inform the Hokage about this. He might want to know."

The two went above on the roofs of the buildings and headed for where Naruto lived. They spotted the young blonde as they followed on top of the buildings. While they watched, Naruto didn't notice them for a second. They heard people muttering from the streets about him and staring at him with hate in their eyes. Iruka felt sorry for the young boy as he walked down the street with those people staring at watching him. Kakashi felt a bit of pity for the boy too, but he pushed it aside and kept a close eye on the boy.

After a while, Naruto finally made it to his apartment and they watched him go inside. Kakashi said, "Nothing out of the ordinary as far as his walk home."

As Naruto shut the door to his apartment, he let out a sigh. He was finally home. He put his keys on the small kitchen table and looked at the cabinets. He didn't feel like eating at all, and he wondered if Iruka would say anything to Kakashi about his behavior. He shrugged the thought off and turned the light off as he turned the light in his room on. He found his special kunai on the floor, hoping that nobody broke into his apartment and found it. He wasn't sure who could be watching him or if anyone cared to watch him that closely. Before long after he found his weapon of choice, he sat on his bed and pulled up the sleeve of his jacket and started his night ritual on days like this.

 _Why am I such a screw up? Why do I even try anymore? I don't have a true purpose anyway, why do I keep living when I have nothing and no one to live for? I must be pretty fucked up in the head to do this to myself,_ Naruto thought bitterly to himself.

As he starred and the straight lines across his skin that now had blood slowly seeping through the small cuts on his skin, Naruto felt somewhat satisfied by his work. He didn't spend too long watching before he went to turn the lights off in his apartment, feeling as if he were going to wake up to another boring day the next day.

When Naruto woke up, he heard someone knocking on his apartment door, yelling his name. He groaned and put on his normal orange outfit quickly before he walked to the front door. He opened it and saw Iruka standing there with a smile on his face.

"Iruka-sensei? What are you doing here?" Naruto asked in a sleepy tone.

Iruka said, "Good morning, Naruto. I came to see how you were doing. You seemed a little off yesterday afternoon."

Naruto cursed himself mentally. He knew better than to refuse the ramen from Iruka, but he didn't care at the time; he just wanted to go home and let his habit consume his agony. The boy said, "Yeah, sorry about that. I had some studying I wanted to do before it got late. I have nothing to do today, thankfully."

Iruka nodded and walked inside as Naruto motioned for him to come inside. Surprisingly, the apartment was clean. Iruka sat at the small kitchen table as he watched Naruto lean against the counter behind the table. Naruto crossed his arms and asked, "So, what did you wanna talk about again?"

Iruka frowned and said, "Kakashi mentioned you were a little off the past few weeks. Anything on your mind?"

Naruto felt the panic instill inside of his chest. Kakashi noticed? He was sure he was careful enough to where he couldn't see anything wrong. How'd he screw up this time?

Iruka tilted his head and Naruto realized he'd been silent for too long. He said, "Yeah, well, I've just been up late studying, like last night."

Another lie, and Iruka clearly wasn't buying it. "Naruto, stop lying."

Naruto flinched. Iruka said, "I know you're lying, so tell me the truth."

Naruto tried to hide the fact he was now shaking. If he found out anything else, then Iruka would tell Lord Third and Kakashi and then everyone else would find out. There was no way he could let that happen, not then and not ever if Naruto could help it. He could try to lie his way out of this mess, but he saw there was no lie that could make Iruka see things the way Naruto wanted him to. He was trapped in a corner.

Naruto had been silent for moments, and now, Iruka's stare was starting to make him more anxious. Naruto insisted, "I'm fine, Iruka-sensei."

"Then why are you shaking?"

Naruto felt truly trapped at that moment. He tried, "It's just really cold is all."

Iruka sighed. "Naruto, please, talk to me."

Naruto's shaking got worse. Iruka wasn't sure what he was going to do to stop the boy, but he knew if he didn't do something soon, Naruto was going to bolt out the door or jump out the window. Naruto, as Iruka thought, was actually planning to jump out of the window of his apartment. The blonde was trying to remain calm, but the moment Iruka stood, calm was gone. Calm died the moment he saw Iruka's face turn from calm to concerned. Naruto, out of impulse, ran to his bedroom. Iruka rushed after him too late, however. Naruto locked the door behind himself and opened the window. He looked down at the street below and then looked at the nearby buildings. He jumped for the nearest one, but when he landed, he looked up to see his sensei standing right there.

Kakashi closed the book in his hand and said, "Ah, there you are."

Naruto felt cornered once again. He asked, "What are you doing?"

Kakashi stared at him calmly and said, "Naruto, you need to calm down. We're not going to hurt you."

 _Lies. All lies,_ Naruto thought to himself bitterly. He looked at him and tried to run, but a clone stood in his way. In fact, there were four other clones now surrounding him. Kakashi said, "Please come quietly, Naruto. I just wanna talk."

"What about?" Naruto asked nervously.

Kakashi saw the trembling and the panic that possessed his body. The boy was afraid, but Kakashi didn't understand why.

"Why are you shaking?" Kakashi questioned.

Naruto said quickly, "It's nothing."

The white-haired Shinobi didn't buy it one bit. He asked, "What are you hiding?"

Before he knew it, Naruto had already had clones ready to fight Kakashi and all his clones. Naruto was clearly trying to run away, and he was doing a terrible job of improvising on the spot. As his clones attacked, so did Kakashi's. Eventually, Kakashi noticed in the middle of the fighting of clones, that Naruto was gone. Two of Kakashi's clones remained, but vanished as soon as Kakashi heard Iruka drop onto the roof.

"Where'd he go?"

Kakashi sighed. "He ran off. I'll just send my hounds after him myself I guess."

Iruka said, "Before you do, I found something you'll wanna look at."

Kakashi watched curiously as Iruka pulled out a Kunai from his pocket. Normally, Kakashi would ignore the fact there was a bit of blood on it, but the problem was there was dried blood on the edge of the weapon. Iruka commented, "This looks almost fresh."

Kakashi then put everything together. It only took a few seconds for Kakashi to summon his hounds to find Naruto. He commanded, "Find Naruto Uzumaki and let me know when you find him."

The hounds ran off the building and into the alleyway beside the building. Iruka asked, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Kakashi nodded. "Yeah, and if we're right, we need to find Naruto really soon. I don't want to know what'll happen if we don't. We've already upset him, I don't think he's going to calm down easily considering he jumped out a window and started a clone fight to get away from us."


	3. Chapter 2

A Shattered Demon Child

 **Part 2**

As Naruto ran away from Kakashi and his clones, he felt his heart pounding in his chest even harder than before. How did they _know_? Did they know about his habits? How long had they been onto him? This was a mess and Naruto figured it was going to take a lot to make this go away, if it would go away. Naruto only knew that he needed to run for his life because he wasn't sure if he could live with them knowing anything about what was really going on.

 _Dammit, if they find out, they'll destroy everything I've been trying to preserve and keep together. How could they just do this? I don't even know what to do at this point besides run like my life depends on it,_ Naruto thought to himself with panic still coursing through his very being.

He wasn't sure if they were going to leave him alone or not, but he knew he needed to get far away from them if he were going to hide and figure out what he was going to do. Before he knew it, he heard snarls and growls from something that was definitely not human under the trees he used to stay off the ground. He knew those noises; Kakashi sent his hounds after him. Naruto cursed as he tried to throw kunai at the beasts as they ran beneath him. He stumbled shortly after he throw them. He fell about ten feet before hitting the ground. He got up slowly and realized the hounds were surrounding him. He was trapped, for the third time that morning. He stood, paralyzed by fear as he wasn't sure what they were going to do to him or if they were going to tell Kakashi where he was.

Naruto summoned ten clones to take care of the hounds, but that's when he felt the exhaustion start to put a hole in his plan of running away from the beasts. He let the clones have at the hounds for a few seconds, but when he got up a tree, the clones were gone. The hounds were already trying to get up the tree to catch him. Naruto started jumping from tree to tree once again, trying to out run the beasts. He knew Kakashi and Iruka were probably on his trail by that point. As he carried on for a while, he soon realized there was a stream ahead that was wider than he could possibly cross with the little bit of energy he had left. He then saw a tree with a hole under it that looked hallow and deep. Naruto lunged into the hole, sliding down the four foot deep hole. Naruto watched from the hole as the hounds dug and scratched at him.

Naruto felt the fear rushing once again. He wasn't sure what to do, so he did the one thing that he knew would make him calm down. He took out another kunai and rolled up his sleeve. He began to assault the still wounded flesh that had barely healed from the night before. When the blade went across his skin, he forgot that there was a limit on how hard he could cut in what area. He accidentally hit a vein before he knew it. At first, he thought the bleeding was a bit much, but he realized his mistake as the pain and blood sunk into his head.

Naruto cursed and pulled his sleeve up as the hounds stopped digging. They started to whimper. He blocked out the voices of the dogs as the tried talking to him. Naruto felt darkness start slipping over him as time passed like seconds. His eyes closed for what seemed like a second before he felt himself waking up to someone pulling his body out of the hole. He saw two blurry figures above him as he finally was pulled out of the hole.

"Naruto? Can you hear me?" a voice, Iruka, asked.

Naruto limply nodded. Kakashi looked at Iruka and said, "He hit a vein. We need to take him to the hospital."

Naruto shook his head and said weakly, "Please, don't do that. Anything but that."

After that, Kakashi gently grabbed Naruto's arm and pushed his bloody sleeve up his arm a bit more than it already was.

"Wait... How is it healing?" Kakashi asked.

Naruto heard a voice in his head say, _Idiot. You're not getting it, are you?_

The blonde blinked as the pain and wound were soon gone in a matter of moments. Iruka said, "We still need to take you to the hospital."

Kakashi shook his head. "No, not yet, anyway."

Iruka looked shocked. Kakashi looked at the young boy and asked, "Did you do it on accident?"

Naruto nodded limply. "I didn't mean for it to go that deep. I swear."

Kakashi said gently, "Naruto, I believe you. However, understand that you have questions to answer."

"What're you gonna do?"

Kakashi sighed. "For now, we're going to your apartment to talk. Just relax, okay?"

Naruto felt the anxiety again and started shaking. Kakashi put his arm under his knees and behind his back to lift him up. Iruka lead the way, looking more concerned then Naruto had ever seen him before. As they raced to his apartment, Naruto noticed that Kakashi's eyes looked more grim that usual. Naruto noticed the darkness surrounding his vision as they rushed him away from where they'd found him. When his eyes opened again, there was a light above his head. Naruto noticed the feeling of his bed under him and he noticed Kakashi and Iruka both standing nearby, watching him closely.

Naruto slowly sat up and looked at them, ready to be yelled at and scolded. Iruka walked over first. He sat on the edge of Naruto's bed and said, "Hey."

Naruto gulped. "H-Hey."

Iruka put a familiar object on Naruto's lap. A bloody kunai. Naruto knew where it came from. He looked at the weapon and back up to Iruka. Iruka looked tired and conflicted. He asked, "Can you answer some questions for us, please?"

Naruto nodded silently. Iruka cleared his throat as Kakashi walked over and stood a few feet away from Iruka as he leaned against the wall to Naruto's right. Iruka asked quietly, "How long?"

Naruto answered simply, "A long time."

Iruka said impatiently, "I need specifics."

The boy admitted, "Since I started at the academy."

Iruka flinched and Kakashi looked shocked. Both men were now extremely cautious, but Naruto seemed to be static. Iruka asked, "Why did you say nothing about it?"

Naruto said quietly, "I didn't want anyone to know. Until today, nobody knew."

Iruka looked ready to start crying and Kakashi watched his student with a pained look in his eye. Kakashi walked forward and knelt down in front of where the boy was. He asked, "Can I take a look?"

Naruto crossed his arms to his chest and pulled up his knees. He felt like a child being picked on by other children, but he knew they were just trying to help. He reluctantly held his arm out towards the white-haired man. Kakashi gently moved the boy's blood stained sleeve up his arm again. The blood was still there, but Kakashi pulled out an antiseptic wipe from what looked like a medical pack in his pocket. He rubbed at the blood until there was nothing left but Naruto's abused skin.

Iruka and Kakashi went from the boy's wrist up his arm with their eyes. Kakashi asked, "Anywhere else?"

Naruto sighed and took his jacket off nervously. When he did, Kakashi and Iruka both stared at the faint and almost invisible scars that went up Naruto's arms. Some were clear, but some were almost completely gone. Kakashi asked, "Have you ever hit a vein before?"

Naruto thought for a moment and said, "No, I don't think so. Not before today anyway."

Kakashi let out a sigh of relief. He said, "Okay, that's not great but it could be worse."

"I-I guess."

Iruka watched the boy start shaking. He asked, "Why are you scared?"

Naruto put his head on his knees. "I'm not sure what you're going to do about _this_."

Iruka said, "We're going to let the Hokage know about what's going on, but then it's up to him what we do about this. You're not in trouble, Naruto. We'll keep this secret and you'll continue your training and missions as usual, but with a few changes."

"What changes?"

Kakashi said, "For starters, you need to stop doing this to yourself. To make sure of that, you're to report to me or Iruka everyday for inspection. If you don't, well, we'll just have to do this whole thing all over again and I don't feel like chasing you down and finding you like that again, okay?"

Naruto nodded stiffly. Iruka asked, "Naruto, can you do me a favor?"

Naruto tilted his head at him. Iruka said, "If you need to talk, come to one of us, okay? We don't want anything to happen to you."

Naruto nodded and felt the urge to sleep tugging at him. His eyes started to droop and both Shinobi noticed it at once. Kakashi said, "Alright, well, get some rest. We'll talk more in the morning."

With that, the boy finally relaxed enough to lay down on his bed. Iruka let a tear slip as he watched the boy fall asleep. Kakashi sighed as he left Naruto's bedroom. Iruka followed him out. He shut the door behind himself and turned to Kakashi, who was now leaning against a nearby wall.

Kakashi sighed. "This is a mess."

Iruka nodded and said, "Yeah, definitely. He's always seemed to hyper and happy. I don't like seeing him this way; not one bit."

"Lord Hokage probably won't take this news very well, but he'll possibly know what to do."

Iruka sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I just... I don't understand how he can be doing this bad and none of us noticed it until now."

Kakashi didn't know the answer. In fact, he himself was thinking all the same things. He wasn't sure what to do about Naruto and he'd never expected him to do the things he'd been doing to himself. Kakashi knew Naruto wouldn't completely stop, not at first, and he needed to fix that. Even Iruka knew it, but neither one of them wanted to mention it out loud because it was just a fact. Iruka asked, "Should one of us stay with him for the night? Tomorrow is Sunday, so I don't have to teach."

Kakashi shook his head. "I'll take care of it. You go home, Iruka."

The next morning, Naruto woke up feeling exhausted and sore. He sat up slowly and tried to remember what had happened before he went to sleep. _Kakashi-sensei and Iruka-sensei were here... I think they left after I feel asleep. That leaves me some space to take care of somethings then, huh? Good thing, because last night I wanted to rip my arm open again after that talk with those two_ ,Naruto thought to himself. He went to look for his kunai pouch and hissed when he couldn't find it. He kept searching his room until a voice asked, "Looking for something?"

Naruto's face lost all it's color as he realized he was not alone. He turned slowly and saw Kakashi standing in the doorway to his room. Naruto avoided his eyes as he tried to think of an excuse or lie to tell his teacher. Sadly, he knew nothing would work on him.

"Um, no," Naruto tried, even though he knew it was pointless.

Kakashi gave him a cold gaze. He said, "Naruto, sit down."

The boy huffed and sat down on his bed. He tried, and he failed, again. Kakashi walked over to the young Shinobi and knelt in front of him. Kakashi pulled out Naruto's bloody kunai he used not even a full 48 hours ago. Kakashi held it in his hand and asked, "Is this what you were looking for?"

Naruto nodded limply, feeling defeated and ashamed. Kakashi sighed and asked, "Were you also looking for you weapons pouch?"

Again, the boy nodded. Kakashi sighed. "This isn't good for you, you know that."

Naruto asked in a quiet tone, "Why are you telling me all of this? I know I'm pretty messed up in the head, that's just a fact, but you can't expect me to just stop because you tell me so."

His teacher sighed. "You're right, but you need to work with me here. I wanna help you, Naruto, but you have to let me. And no, this is not optional."

The blonde grunted and crossed his arms. Kakashi must've went looking for anything sharp that Naruto could get his hands on. Naruto also knew that he did stay the night, which didn't bother him, but it did annoy him that he couldn't relieve himself of his pain. Naruto sat there quietly, trying to come up with some bullshit excuse to feed the Shinobi, but it he came up with only things that would falter and just fail to do anything but dig his hole a bit deeper. He was still going to try, though.

Kakashi looked at Naruto's arm, that while it was still healing, there was going to be a mark for sure. He even saw all the other faded scars for a moment, and that pulled at his emotions a bit. Kakashi asked quietly, "Is it my fault?"

Naruto flinched. "No, it's not you. It's other things."

"Like what?"

Naruto fell silent and he started shaking. No, he couldn't do this again. It was way too soon and he'd just gotten a hold of himself for a moment in time after everything that had happened the day before. He couldn't do it, he just couldn't. As he tried to stand up, Kakashi put his hand on the boy's shoulder and forced him to stay down. He felt the shaking, and it only made him feel worse. Kakashi said softly, "Naruto, you can trust me. I'm not going to hurt you or judge you."

The boy hesitated for a few moments. He knew that if he did say anything, there was no taking it back, and that was something that Naruto couldn't risk. He sat there quietly and Kakashi sighed. They had a lot to work on. Before long, Naruto came to the conclusion it would make things easier to tell white-haired man what he wanted to know. He wasn't gong to like what he had to say.

"For so long... I had nobody. I still have nobody to be there for me," Naruto muttered loud enough for Kakashi to hear.

Kakashu's expression grew sad again. "Naruto, that's not true. You can come to me or Iruka, know that."

"Yeah, well, I still have no friends to talk to."

Ouch, that was a deep wound. Kakashi just looked at him at that moment. It wasn't like Sasuke and Sakura treated him as their equal, and in fact, they treated him like some pesky little kid. The man wanted to scold them for making him feel this way, but that would have to wait for another day and another time. He'd make his students understand the damage they caused and didn't prevent from happening.

Kakashi asked, "Is there anything else?"

Naruto paused before he spoke again. He said, "Yeah, I'm an idiot. Everyone knows it and that's all I'll ever be. Plus, I'm just a filthy demon vessel."

That hurt to listen to. By this point, Kakashi felt the need to hurt someone, mostly the villagers and other ninja, for putting these thoughts into his head. He felt guilty for all the things he said as well, because he'd also called Naruto an idiot, but he didn't mean to discourage the boy. He said it to make him do better. Apparently, that had back fired. Now feeling horrible, Kakashi looked down at the floor. There was something that just didn't line up with all the stories and reasons Naruto gave. Not to mention all the nonsense he was spitting out about being a filthy demon vessel. Kakashi felt his blood boil at the thought of his young student believing all this nonsense.

Between the look in the young boy's eyes and his body language, there was more to it than that. Kakashi felt his throat tighten at the idea of the boy feeling all these things when he had done nothing to deserve it and nobody had the right to make him feel the way he did. Kakashi always thought Naruto managed himself all those eyes of being alone and that he'd overpowered all those ideas and thoughts that people had tried to put into his head. However, it seemed, Naruto feel to the mercy of all those thoughts and he had let him consume his mind.

Not only had that happened, but he never said a word about it to anyone, even Iruka. There was something in all of that that seemed to not line up; nobody noticed the injuries for so long. How had they never noticed anything was wrong with him? How had even Kakashi have known nothing of it? At that moment, there was a pain in his chest that reminded Kakashi that he was still just a child inside.

Naruto asked, "So, what are you going to do about me?"

"For now, just answer some questions and we'll start from there, okay?"

The young boy nodded and waited for the questions to start pouring out.

"How long have you been doing this to yourself?" Kakashi asked calmly.

Naruto answered hesitantly, "Since I was about five."

"Right. Okay, how've you been hiding it from everyone?"

Naruto sighed. "I heal insanely fast, so for a while, the scars were barely there, but over time, I had to stop doing it as often because the cuts got deeper and deeper. Plus, my body was trying to heal from training so much."

Kakashi nodded. "So, didn't you ever think, you know, that this wasn't normal and it wasn't healthy?"

Naruto snorted and shot back, "Of course I knew! If you haven't noticed, I'm not freaking normal!"

Kakashi held his hands up lazily in defense and said, "Alright, alright, you have a point, nothing about your life is normal, but so what? That doesn't mean you don't feel the same things any other person would."

"You're wrong, sensei. I don't feel the same things a normal person does! Everyone has _someone_ except for me! Don't you dare try to understand how I feel being a piece of shit that _nobody_ wanted in the first place! Don't feed me that bullshit!" Naruto hissed at Kakashi.

Kakashi winced at the boy's words. Kakashi said softly, "Naruto, you're not alone anymore. I can, so does Sakura, Iruka, and Sasuke. They don't want to see you like this anymore. There's nothing wrong with you, you're a good kid and a good shinobi. Don't believe any of the crap you think is true."

Naruto looked down with his head down. He asked, "Sensei, why do I exist? What was my purpose? Just to be this... This monster?"

Kakashi felt his throat and chest tighten just a little bit more. He said, "Naruto, please, don't say those things. You... You don't understand it now, but you weren't just born to be a vessel. I can't tell you everything, but you weren't supposed to live this life you do. This just had to happen to end the war and save our village."

Naruto stayed quiet. The silence broke his sensei's normal composure to the point of Kakashi nearly telling him about his sensei and everything about Naruto's parents, but it was meant to be a secret until the boy was ready. Kakashi put his hand on Naruto's shoulder and said, "I swear, one day, this will all make sense, but for now, you just have to trust me."


	4. Chapter 3

A Shattered Demon Child

 **Part 3**

Iruka and Kakashi stood on both sides of the young blonde who was sitting in the chair before Tsunade. It had been some time before they'd had to do this to the poor boy, but not long after the third Hokage died was the time that they'd caught him doing things that they'd rather forget they'd ever seen the young boy do. Before Naruto, there was Jiraiya standing against the desk that Tsunade stood behind. Jiraiya had been informed that Naruto had been known for hurting himself and being suicidal, but he'd never seen it to be true until he found Naruto on the floor of his apartment unconscious. Tsunade had also had hard time believing the story, but nobody had told her until Jiraiya did.

"So, Naruto, is there something you'd like to share with us," Kakashi asked coldly.

Naruto shook his head. Tsunade was clearly not in the mood for it. She was both frustrated and upset at the situation for not noticing and nobody telling her about his problem. Tsunade asked, "Naruto, you need to clear this up for us. What did you do?"

Jiraiya sighed. "Kid, speak up. Now."

"What do you think I did?" The blonde said softly.

Kakashi sighed, looking at Iruka for a moment, and then he looked at Naruto. He said, "Lady Tsunade, this is getting out of hand. We need to do something."

Tsunade sighed. "You're right."

Naruto felt his heart drop to his stomach. "W-What are you gonna do?"

Tsunade laced her fingers together and looked at the young boy, eyeing every inch of his face. She asked, "Naruto, how long has this been going on?"

"Since I... Since I was five," he admitted.

Tsunade had a grim look on her face when he answered. She asked, "Is this all you do to yourself? We noticed some bruises on you when Jiraiya brought you in."

Naruto shook his head. "Mostly, I just cut myself. If I can't... I find other ways to substitute the sensation."

"Have you tried to kill yourself?"

"Yes," Naruto answered with a shiver. "I have. But not in a long time."

"When was the last time?"

He paused before answering. "Right after the village was attacked, before you accepted being the Hokage."

Tsunade said, "That's not a very long time ago. How many times have you tried?"

"...Eight times."

Iruka and Kakashi both stared at him in horror. They didn't know all this. When they asked him months ago, he said he'd only tried six times. There'd been two more times he'd tried since then. What were they doing wrong? Had they failed to take care of the young boy?

Tsunade asked with a shaking voice, "Why didn't you come to one of us?"

Naruto stayed silent. Tsunade moved onto the next question. She asked, "Where do you keep getting those bruises from?"

Naruto refused to answer. He'd just assume to be beaten to death first. At his rate, he'd be lucky to survive this conversation with Tsunade before she beat him into the ground for being so stupid. There was no way he'd survive this if he didn't answer some questions. He said, "I can't say."

"That's bullshit. Tell me who's been doing this to you," Tsunade demanded.

Naruto shrugged and curled into a ball. He asked, "What's the point? There's nothing you can do."

She walked around the desk in front of Jiraiya, who looked at the boy with concerned eyes. The young looking woman knelt down beside Naruto and cupped his cheek in her hand. She said softly, "Naruto, look at me."

He was trying to avoid her eyes, but somehow, he looked at her anyway. Tsunade said firmly, "I can only help you if you tell me who's hurt you."

Naruto sighed. "It's just... It's just some of the villagers that live near my apartment. That's all."

"They've been doing this to you? For how long?"

"Ever since I moved in."

Tsunade felt rage boil inside her chest. She cleared her throat and said, "Well, I'll have that taken care of as soon as possible."

"Don't."

The Hokage looked at the boy who barely spoke and she asked softly, "Why shouldn't I?"

Naruto said, "They're right, Granny Tsunade. I'm a monster."

She snapped. Tsunade growled, "Listen here, Naruto. You're not a monster. You are a wonderful young man and don't you forget it. You'd never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. Understand?"

Naruto shrugged. He was lost in his ow haze. Jiraiya sighed and asked, "Kid, why can't you just talk to someone?"

Iruka finally spoke and said, "He's never been able to before recently. He has yet to come to me and talk."

Kakashi nodded. "I think it would be best if someone watched over Naruto until he's... Stable enough."

Naruto had a familiar feeling in his chest at that moment. No way in hell he'd let that happen. When Tsunade stood up, she noticed the look and body language the boy gave off. Jiraiya noticed too, and so did the other shinobi in the room. Naruto stood up as quick as he could. When he did, Jiraiya wrapped his arms around the boy as he tried to get away. Naruto refused to stay another minute and listen to it.

He growled, "Let me go!"

Jiraiya tightened his grip as the boy continued to resist. Kakashi walked over and said, "Calm down, Naruto. Everything's going to be okay."

"The hell it'll all be okay! Stop lying to me!"

Iruka walked towards the boy as he continued to fight and resist against Jiraiya. The toad sage held up, but was barely managing. Iruka said sharply, "Naruto, you need to stop it! Nothing's going to happen, okay? You can still be a shinobi and go on missions, but you'll just have us watching out more closely and we'll be there in case anything happens."

Naruto had tears forming in his eyes as he cried, "No! Leave me alone!"

"That's the entire problem, you idiot!"

Naruto looked at Tsunade as she slammed her fist on her desk. Her face was pointed down, but Naruto knew she was upset. She said with a shaky voice, "Naruto, just stop it. Let us help you before you destroy yourself. I won't let anything happen to you if you let me help you. I've seen enough tragedy in my life and lost enough people in my life to know what it's like when they're not there anymore. I understand you feel alone, but you can't let yourself be alone anymore because it's hurting you more than you realize. You're doing this to yourself and I'm not going to watch you throw your life away like you mean nothing what so ever!"

Naruto stopped resisting and watched the Hokage raise her head. She was crying. She sobbed, "Don't you dare think you're doing this alone! Don't you dare think nobody cares because we do care and that's why we're doing this to you! You're like a little brother to me, so please, just... Stop fighting alone."

Naruto felt his chest tighten as he realized she was right. He hung his head and whispered, "I... I'm sorry, Granny Tsunade."

Tsunade sat down in her chair again and hung her head. Iruka looked ready to cry too. Tsunade could only look at Naruto's arm covered in cuts that had yet to fully heal. Naruto was forced into the chair he'd gotten out of and Jiraiya stood there with his arms crossed. He looked worried. Iruka wrapped his arms across the boy's neck and hugged him from behind the chair. Naruto hung his head quietly as he tried not to let his emotions explode into something that he couldn't control anymore. Iruka said softly, "Naruto, please... You can't keep doing this. Not anymore. I mean it this time."

Naruto could do nothing but shake and feel as if his heart were being strangled in someone's hands.

Iruka said, "I'll look after him as much as I can."

Tsunade nodded. "Alright then. Naruto?"

He looked up at her with tears forming in his eyes. Tsunade said as steadily as she could, "Starting as soon as you're released from the hospital, you will be staying with Iruka until we think you're stable enough to live on your own and be trusted to be by yourself. Do I make myself clear?"

The blonde didn't do anything but nod. Tsunade sighed and said, "Good. Kakashi, you're to watch Naruto for the next few days until he's released."

Kakashi nodded. "Understood."

Jiraiya couldn't do anything but watch as the boy rose to his feet, still shaking. Iruka let him go and walked with him to the door. Kakashi followed them with an orange book in his hand as he followed them out. When the door shut, Tsunade lost her composure. She began to sob once again and put her head on her desk. Jiraiya said calmly, "It's okay, Tsunade. He'll be just fine."

She lifted her head up and said, "The boy hit a vein! Do you understand he could've bled to death? What would there be to save him? There'd be nothing that we could do to save him!"

Jiraiya slammed his fist on her desk and yelled, "I'm aware of that! I'm the one who found the kid unconscious! I don't want anything to happen either, but he's got to make that choice for himself whether or not he wants to live or die! I'll be damned before he destroys himself!"

Tsunade watched him close his eyes. Jiraiya let out another sigh. "I'm not sure what to do anymore."

Kakashi sat in the hospital room with Naruto and Iruka as Iruka finally snapped. He looked at Naruto with anger and pain in his eyes. Naruto looked empty inside. Kakashi watched the boy as Iruka finally got the nerve to speak with the boy one-on-one. Iruka calmed himself down enough to stop raising his voice at Naruto. He walked over to the bed Naruto was sitting in and asked, "Is there anything you need?"

The boy shook his head. Iruka sighed. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Naruto stayed frozen in place. Iruka moved closer to the boy and put his hand on his shoulder. Naruto started shaking. He was losing all his composure that he'd maintained for the longest time since Jiraiya found him and Tsunade requested to see him as soon as he was awake. Iruka waited and so did Kakashi.

Naruto said quietly, "I shouldn't exist. I just get in everyone's way."

Kakashi was surprised he said anything at all. Naruto had never actually came to them when he really should have. He'd hardly ever heard how Naruto really felt, and the few times he did, were probably the most depressing and hurtful of all. He'd listened to the boy for so long just talk about his big plans and dreams that seemed kinda silly, but somehow, he managed to make some of them true. However, those times he couldn't, he sounded just like this. Naruto hated telling people how he felt and it always made him feel like a whiner when he did. He knew some people had it worse than he did, so he figured he shouldn't be ungrateful for what he had and he never said anything for that reason.

Iruka asked, "Naruto, can you please just tell us how you feel? No holding back, no lies. Just tell us how you feel."

Naruto shook his head. He said, "No. I can't."

Jiraiya said bitterly, "Either you do or we'll force you."

The blond hung his head and sighed. The three shinobi watched as his body language and everything about him seemed to change but his appearance. They watched the boy raise his head and saw the shadows in his eyes and saw how tired he looked. He said lowly, "Fine. You wanna know how I feel, so I'll tell you. I'm tired. I'm sick of being worthless and being a complete and utter nuisance. I can't do a damn thing right and I'm tired of being called a demon. I can't help I'm a vessel for a demon, I just... I feel like I should just drop dead. The world would be better off without me."

The two pairs of eyes and single-eyed ninja still watched carefully. Jiraiya asked, "What about all those injuries? Are they from anything other than what you told Tsunade?"

Naruto didn't say anything. Iruka said, "Tell us."

Naruto sighed. "Sometimes it's other shinobi, but mostly it's the villagers. Look, I'm fine, okay? I'm still breathing... Sadly."

Iruka and Kakashi flinched at those words. Jiraiya watched his student carefully as the boy hung his head again. Jiraiya asked, "Did you mean to hit a vein?"

Naruto hesitated when he answered. "Yeah, I just... I hit it really quick and I passed out before I could finish."

Iruka turned away, trying not to cry once again. Kakashi watched with a grim look on his face as Jiraiya did the same, but instead of standing against the wall, he walked closer to the boy. Naruto tensed up, almost like he was expecting to be hit or yelled at. Jiraiya noticed and took a few steps back. He asked, "Why'd you do that?"

Naruto's face grew paler and he kept his head down. Iruka seemed to have a knowing look on his face. He asked, "Naruto, what's the matter?"

The boy didn't want to answer. Kakashi studied his body language and said, "It's obvious. He's been abused before."

Jiraiya looked at the white-haired man and then to Naruto. Iruka looked hurt, as if he hadn't had knowledge of this information. He asked, "You were?"

Naruto shrugged. "Well yeah, I mean, when I was at the orphanage before they kicked me out."

"By who?"

Once again, the boy avoided their eyes. "Nobody."

Jiraiya huffed. "Bullshit. You'd better start talking before I call in Tsunade again."

Naruto flinched and said quietly, "The headmistress wasn't the nicest. She didn't like demons all that much as it turns out."

Iruka looked ready to start yelling, which only made Naruto start shaking. By this point they'd taken his mask, ripped it off his face, and broke it in half. Naruto wasn't sure what to do anymore because this had never been a real problem before. Iruka wasn't sure what to do for the boy other than tell him they'd fix everything, but even he knew that he couldn't away all the pain he'd been through. There was just no way he could do it.

Iruka said, "Naruto, look up."

The boy did what he was asked and looked at his old homeroom teacher. Iruka said in a calm tone, "I'm sorry they did that to you, and if I could fix it all, I would, but I can't. What I can do is tell you that we won't hurt you and we care about you. Not just us, but others do to."

Naruto nodded, tears slipping from his eyes. He sat there shaking and his three teachers just watched. Kakashi had a sad and knowing look on what little of his face actually showed. By the time Naruto finally stopped shaking and the nurse gave him medicine for sleeping, Jiraiya had already been summoned by Tsunade to go to her office once again. He left and said goodbye to the boy before departing to the Hokage's tower. Iruka and Kakashi watched the boy closely as he fell into a drug induced sleep.

Iruka stepped outside of the room after a while and Kakashi followed him. The two men shut the door behind themselves and looked at each other. Kakashi asked, "Can you handle him, Iruka?"

"What do you mean?"

The shinobi answered, "I know this is hard for you to watch. He's one of your old students and you don't like this anymore than any of us do. I just want to make sure you're ready for what you might have to do."

Iruka nodded and said, "It's Naruto, so I'm ready. I'll adjust to what he needs and what I need to do; it's no problem."

Kakashi nodded. "Good. I'll keep an eye on him."

Iruka nodded and said goodbye as he left to return home. Kakashi watched him walk away as he walked back into Naruto's room. He noticed the boy was awake and he asked, "Naruto, why aren't you asleep?"

Naruto shifted, leaving the white-haired shinobi curious as to what was going on. He walked closer and noticed Naruto was actually asleep, but he was having dreams. He could see from the boy's body language he was definitely not sleeping peacefully.

Kakashi sighed as he sat in the chair near the boy's bed and read his romance novel, knowing the boy was probably going to move a lot, but that he wasn't going to wake up any time soon, hopefully. As he began to stir every so often, Kakashi could hear small noises coming from the sleeping body near him. Kakashi remembered the night that he and Iruka found Naruto unconscious in the woods after he hit his vein the first time; the boy made the same noises, but this time, the noises became more stressful and almost worrisome.

Kakashi silently watched the boy for a few minutes at a time as he noticed more movement. Naruto was breathing a lot faster than he should have been. In fact, it was very abnormal, especially considering Naruto had taken sleeping pills. Kakashi looked up every so often to notice the boy had moved or made a noise. For some reason, Kakashi also noticed how unsound the boy would move in his sleep. The sensei could only watch, knowing there was nothing for him to do until the boy woke up.

The next morning, Kakashi was still awake and enjoying his book when Tsunade walked in the hospital room. She watched the white-haired ninja read for a few moments. Clearly, he was tired and somehow restless. Tsunade watched the blond boy laying in bed shift and seemed deep in thought. Kakashi looked up at her as she walked over to Naruto and shook his arm. The boy's eyes opened as he groaned at the Hokage. He mumbled, "No... Too Early."

Tsunade smiled and said, "I know, but sit up. Iruka will be here soon and we need to talk."

Naruto sat up slowly and looked at Tsunade. She looked more tired than usual, and Naruto assumed it was because of him. Tsunade's smile faded as she let out a sigh. She said softly, "I need you to answer some questions honestly, okay?"

The boy nodded. Tsunade asked, "First off, how are you feeling?"

Naruto shrugged and said, "I feel fine."

Tsunade shook her head. "Not physically, mentally."

"Well... I feel nothing really. I'm just kinda here, ya know?"

Tsunade nodded. "Okay, that's better than I was expecting. Now, next question; can I trust you to come to me if you need anything?"

Naruto froze. He stayed still and silent as the woman nodded. "At least you aren't lying to me. Now, you need to see your therapist every week as long as you're in the village. You'll see Dr. Sato in a few days after you get settled in with Iruka, okay?"

Naruto nodded, not wanting to argue with her. Tsunade smiled and said, "Good, now, Iruka will take you home this afternoon. Until then, get some rest."

Naruto nodded and Tsunade looked at Kakashi, who was still watching them from his chair nearby. Tsunade said, "Kakashi, you're dismissed."

He nodded and stood. He walked over to Naruto and patted his head. He gave an eye smile and said, "I'll see you later, Naruto."

The boy nodded and Kakashi left the room with Tsunade. When they left, the boy dropped his smile and turned to face the window. He could finally have a moment to think and be alone. The boy curled into a ball and looked outside at the bright blue sky.

 _I don't understand why they'd care in the first place; it's not like they've ever cared before. I've barely had any time lately to even take care of the thoughts and the pain... I didn't ask them to help me and I want them to just leave me alone, like they always have. There's no reason for them to invest so much in me when I'm only going to let them down in the long run. It's not the first time and it definitely won't be the last time. Which is fine, because pretty soon, I'll make sure that it'll all be okay for good,_ Naruto thought to himself with a bit of frustration.

For the first time since they'd caught him, he could go through all his thoughts and think about everything he felt; it wasn't like they gave him much of a chance to explain and he didn't feel like telling them everything. They forget that he was an orphan since he was born practically and left alone with terrible people around him who, as terrible people do, did terrible things to him that couldn't be erased or fixed with the snap of someone's fingers. That was just not possible. Not to mention that he was still going to keep up with his unhealthy habit because it was the only thing that made him feel better anymore.

It was his fault that people hurt him and it was nothing he could fix because he himself was just a demon who couldn't do a thing right to save his life. He was just so... Tired. He wasn't sure what to do anymore and he was running out of options. He only saw one way to fix himself, but every time he tried, he failed or someone saved him before he could finish the job. Even on missions, someone would save him and he'd survive somehow. He was getting irritated with it all and it made him feel even worse. There was nothing he could do to fix himself but one thing, and everyone seemed to insist that he wasn't going to do that because he'd be hurting them.

Naruto couldn't hurt the few people who were saying that the cared, but he sure did want to. He knew he'd have to finish all the suffering before they figured out he was playing them for fools. Now that they'd caught him almost killing himself, they'd be watching even closer than they did before.


	5. Chapter 4

A Shattered Demon Child

 **Part 4**

" _Let's kill the damn thing already! It's going to kill again!"_

 _He was surrounded. He couldn't get away from them without hurting someone. There was no escaping without a consequence. He was done for._

" _I have an even better idea."_

 _The four men picked up pipes and other blunt objects that they could use to beat the boy with. Naruto was curled up on the ground, hoping that it would be over soon. With every swing of the pipes and broom sticks, Naruto felt his bones and muscles cry in agony. He could only lay on the ground while the four grown men beat the child for doing absolutely nothing wrong. He held in his sobs and cries of pain. There was nothing that could be done about it. Not a thing anyone could do to help the pour boy._

 _After what seemed like forever, the blows didn't do anything anymore because Naruto was barely conscious long before they stopped beating him. They figured he was already unconscious and they started getting nervous a shinobi would walk by and report them to the Hokage. That was the last thing any of them wanted; Tsunade scared the hell out of anyone who would hurt Naruto. When they left, Naruto didn't notice because he still felt the throbbing where they hit him; it was almost like the blows just kept coming in the same spot with the same amount of pain all over his body._

 _For a while, Naruto just laid there in the alley, trying to gather the little bit of strength he did have to make it to Iruka's apartment, where Naruto was now supposed to stay until he could prove he was able to take care of himself. It made it a lot harder to keep up with his habit, not to mention the daily inspections he did to prove that he wasn't doing anything, which he used an illusion jutsu to cover his cuts to pass inspection. As he managed to gather the strength to get off the ground, he calculated it would take him at least ten minutes to get home. It was almost dark and he was injured, so he added another ten minutes to that. Not to mention the ten minutes it would take him to get up and prepare himself for the painful walk home. In half an hour, Iruka would have a heart attack and start looking for him. Naruto hoped Iruka wouldn't be home when he got there._

 _As the boy managed to practically stumble the whole way home, the sun had set and everyone had forgotten to even ask the boy if he were okay considering he had blood on his clothes and face. The boy got to the apartment and realized the door was unlocked. Naruto cursed silently to himself and walked in the door. Sitting at the kitchen table was Iruka, waiting anxiously for the boy to get home. When Naruto walked in, the ninja jumped out of his seat and rushed over to the boy._

 _Iruka asked frantically, "Naruto, what happened? Who did this?"_

 _Naruto said lowly, "I'm fine. Don't worry about it."_

 _Iruka walked the boy to the kitchen table and he sat down with Naruto. Iruka walked to bathroom across the room and came back with a first aid kit. He tended to the boy's wounds as carefully as he could. Naruto didn't even feel the burning of his skin when the rubbing alcohol hit his scrapes and cuts. Iruka asked gently, "What happened?"_

 _When Naruto went to open his mouth, he could hear laughing and heard the men from before in his head again. He covered his ears, but then, Iruka grabbed his arms and through him on the ground, beating him with his fists like he'd done something to deserve it._

" _Die demon!"_

" _Nobody wants you!"_

" _Kill yourself!"_

 _Naruto started screaming, breaking his composure and tried fighting against Iruka, but he was practically paralyzed. He kept crying out and nothing was happening. He felt helpless, like no matter what he did, there was no way out. He had to find a way out, he had to do something other than let this happen. Before he could do anything, he felt something familiar going across his wrist; the cold blade of a kunai. Naruto started to realize that he was now sitting against a wall, looking down at his now bleeding wrist that was pouring an insane amount of blood. He started laughing hysterically and realized he felt completely paralyzed and helpless._

As Naruto started to wake up, he didn't realize the kunai in his hand until he felt the blood running down his arm. He put the kunai down and go ups, not realizing just how much pain he was really in. He hissed, quickly running to the bathroom down the hall. Naruto locked the door behind him and shut it quietly. He found the first aid kit and started wrapping his arm. He wasn't sure how this kept happening, but it was happening more and more often than before. Naruto spent a few minutes wrapping his arm before he went to leave the bathroom. He quietly unlocked the door and opened it only to see Iruka waiting outside. Naruto's face was pale as a ghost. Iruka didn't have to ask to know something was wrong considering Naruto's arm was wrapped and bandaged. Naruto felt ashamed as Iruka walked over and put his hand on the boy's shoulder. Iruka said gently, "Come on, let's sit down."

They both sat down in the living room while Iruka looked at Naruto's injury. Iruka asked calmly, "What happened?"

Naruto answered in a near whisper, "I was having a nightmare and... I don't know how, but I woke up like this with a kunai in my hand."

Iruka asked, "What was it about?"

Naruto lied, "Nothing, it was just a stupid dream."

"Nice try. Tell me what happened."

After about ten minutes of them going through the same thing over and over again, Naruto gave in and told Iruka what happened. Iruka asked, "Next time, could you do me a favor?"

Naruto hesitated but nodded, waiting for his request. Iruka sighed and said, "Come get me when this happens, okay?"

Naruto nodded again. "Okay."

Iruka nodded and gave the boy a warm smile. Naruto walked to his room once again, looking for the mess that he would probably have to clean up. He didn't find anything covered in blood but the kunai still where he left it. He cleaned it off and put it back in his pouch. Naruto sat down on his bed and sighed. There was no real reason other than it was an involuntary reaction to what he saw. It didn't make it okay by any means, of course.

Naruto looked around for a moment and realized he'd barely unpacked anything since he started living with Iruka. Naruto saw no need considering he might not be there for long anyway. Naruto was doing a bit better since he came to stay with Iruka. He said, "I'll go ahead and inform Lady Tsunade about your nightmare, okay?"

Naruto nodded. Iruka gave him a nod and went into the other room where the phone was. Naruto let out a sigh as he sat down on the couch with his head in his hands. He'd been doing so well, too. Beside the occasional relapse where he'd have to make an illusion to cover it up, and not to mention Dr. Sato was really annoying, but otherwise, everything was going fine. However, the beatings from the villagers and other shinobi were getting less frequent and less painful. Considering all the above, Naruto was doing a lot better than before.

Naruto figured there would be another therapy session about it, which was annoying, but manageable. Naruto waited from Iruka to get back into the room, but that didn't happen. Naruto waited about ten or twenty minutes before Iruka walked into the room with the home phone in his hand. He held it out at Naruto and said, "Tsunade wants to talk to you."

Naruto gulped and took the phone from his old homeroom teacher. He put it up to his head and said, "Hello?"

Tsunade replied, "Good morning, Naruto. How are you doing?"

He shrugged even though he knew she couldn't see him. He answered, "I'm okay."

"Did you have another nightmare?"

"...Yeah."

Tsunade asked, "Did you inflect the injury involuntarily?"

"Well, I wasn't awake until the Kunai was in my arm, if that answers your question," Naruto answered, trying to explain in a way she could understand.

"I see. Alright, well, I don't see any need in sending you to Dr. Sato considering you're supposed to go tomorrow afternoon anyway. I'll let her know the situation and you two can talk about it later. Now that we've got that out of the way, Kakashi said for you to meet him with Team 7 in about an hour. We'll talk later, okay? If you need anything, let me know, okay?"

Naruto replied, "Yes, Granny. Talk to you later."

He hung up the phone and handed it back to Iruka, who was standing in front of him still. Naruto looked up at him and Iruka had a knowing look on his face. He asked, "Naruto, are you sure you're alright?"

Naruto nodded and answered, "Yeah, I'm fine."

Iruka nodded and patted the young boy on the head. He said, "Let's eat so you can go meet your team, okay?"

Naruto ran off to meet with his teammates, who still didn't know what Kakashi and Iruka did. He saw them and said, "Good morning."

Sasuke gave him a nod and Sakura replied, "Morning."

Naruto leaned against the opposite side of the bridge from Sasuke and Sakura, just looking at the sky or the water below. They waited for a while for their sensei to show up, and about half an hour after Naruto showed up, Kakashi appeared from smoke.

He greeted, "Yo."

Everyone replied, "Good morning, Kakashi-sensei."

Kakashi eye smiled and said, "Why good morning my little Genin. Today, we're going to look for a missing boy in the woods today. His parents haven't seen him since last night, they say he left a note saying he was running away. His name is June."

They all looked at the picture of the young boy who looked surprisingly happy and content next to a man and woman; his parents. The young boy had black hair and green eyes. The three Genin looked up at their sensei. Kakashi said, "Well, we should get going then. Follow me."

The three Genin followed their sensei as they raced to the woods. They went from branch to branch as they ran forward. Kakashi went to the ground and the three followed. They searched for hours, trying to find the kid, and after about three hours, Naruto found him. He saw the young boy laying under a bush. Naruto ran over and said, "Hey, June, right? Your parents sent me to bring you home."

Silence. Naruto walked forward to the bush and said, "Hey, kid, are you okay?"

When he walked up to the bush, he turned the kid onto his back, only to see the horror. Naruto saw the kids pale face. Naruto then saw the razor blade next to his body. Naruto looked at the boy's wrists only to find they had been cut open. Naruto yelled, "Guys! Help! We need medics!"

Naruto stared at the boy as he checked for a pulse. There wasn't a pulse. Naruto backed away, trying not to freak out. _Okay, okay, just take a deep breath. It's all okay, it's just fine. The kid is alive, yeah, he's alive. He's not dead. He's still alive... Right? No, he's dead. What caused this,_ Naruto thought to himself rapidly, trying not to throw up.

After what felt like only seconds, Kakashi was kneeling in front of the boy and checking his pulse. Kakashi sighed and said, "He's been dead since last night. We'd better return his body to his parents."

Naruto stumbled away from the body and ran to the bushes far from him. Sasuke and Sakura had showed up moments after Naruto began to puke up what had been his breakfast. Both of them were confused and worried. They saw the dead boy and Sakura started crying. Sasuke was quiet and conflicted. Kakashi walked over to Naruto and asked, "Naruto, what's the matter?"

Naruto stood up straight and said weakly, "Don't worry about it. I'm fine, I just need a minute, okay?"

Kakashi said, "You're clearly not fine."

The young blonde hissed, "I'm fine, okay?"

Kakashi walked off without another word and carried the boy with the other three Genin to the boy's home. His parents were waiting on the front porch. His parents cried out with joy until Kakashi got close. Before long, their faces turned into hurt and agony. They took the young boy from Kakashi and they began to cry and sob. Naruto looked away from them. The father asked, "W-What happened?"

Kakashi said with a bit of pity in his voice, "We found a razor blade next to him in the forest. I'm very sorry, but there's nothing we can do."

The grieving parents took their son into their house. Kakashi turned to the three Genin and said, "I'm sorry you guys had to see that."

Sakura asked, "Why... Why did he do it? He was only a kid. How did he get driven to this?"

Kakashi had a sad look when he knelt down in front of Team 7. He said softly, "Sometimes, bad things happen to good people, Sakura. After so long of being alone and feeling so much pain, sometimes, people can't take it anymore and they give up hope. I know it doesn't make since, but I hope you understand this can happen to anyone. June killed himself for his own reasons; he gave up hope. It's very sad, but that just means while we all have our problems, we can aspire to make things better."

Naruto hissed, "Shut the hell up! You don't understand a damn bit of what you just said!"

Everyone, even Kakashi, was shocked at the outburst. Kakashi began, "Naruto, just calm-"

"The hell if I'll calm down! You don't know a damn thing about what that kid felt or what happened to him before he died! I highly doubt that you even know what he was thinking before he died! Sometimes, things just don't get better and there's no reason to try if there's nothing that can be done!" Naruto yelled.

Sasuke looked at him and hissed, "What the hell do you know about pain, Naruto? It's not like you've ever lost anyone or had family, so you don't know what it's like to lose anything! You can't just sit there and get mad when you're talking about shit you don't know anything about, dobe!"

Naruto growled, "You don't know a damn thing about me!"

"Oh yeah, then why the hell is it nobody likes you because you are so damn clueless and fucking stupid? You've never had anyone to lose before, so you can just go the fuck on somewhere!" Sasuke shot back.

Naruto's rage had just went over the edge. Naruto argued, "At least you had family! I've been an orphan my entire life! I don't have any real friends because I'm just a fucking demon! Do you have to deal with everyone calling you a fucking monster and a murderer every time you walk down the street?"

Towards the end, Naruto broke down. Sasuke seemed to tone down a notch, but he growled, "Don't play that innocent bullshit, dobe! You're just a fucking loser!"

With that, Kakashi hissed, "That's enough!"

Both the boys looked at him and their sensei hissed, "You're both being ridiculous. Go home, all three of you. The mission is over."

Naruto saw Sasuke storm off and Sakura followed after him. Naruto balled his fists and waited for the scolding to begin. Kakashi sighed and asked, "What am I going to do with you?"

Naruto replied grimly, "Just get rid of me like everyone else. It'll hurt less when I end up like that kid."

The white-haired shinobi looked at Naruto with concern. Kakashi said calmly, "Naruto, you know I won't do that to you."

Naruto said quietly, "You're stupid then."

"Naruto, just calm-"

Before Kakashi finished, the boy was already gone and running back to Iruka's apartment. Kakashi followed after the boy and began to pursue the boy. Naruto had improved greatly, but Kakashi was faster. Kakashi was slowly catching up to him until Naruto somehow speed up and ran past him.

Kakashi hisses, "Naruto, just slow down and talk to me!"

Naruto didn't even look at him as he speed up and ran towards the woods. Kakashi followed him until they got to the trees. Naruto jumped into the trees and somehow, Kakashi lost track of him.

When he lost track of Naruto, Kakashi ran towards Tsunade's office right away. Naruto stayed hidden so he wouldn't attract the white-haired ninja's attention. Naruto began to run through the trees again when Kakashi was out of sight.

 _I'm a loser, I know that, but did he really need to point it out to me like that? Seriously, what the hell is his deal? How would he know anything about what its like to be hated and ignored for his entire life? He had a family and I've never had any family, so where the hell does he get off on telling me I don't understand pain and suffering?_ Naruto thought bitterly to himself.

He was going faster than he had thought and then the thoughts began to flood in while he was running.

 _I don't wanna be alone anymore; I don't wanna be a loser; I don't wanna be a burden anymore; I really can't keep doing this anymore. Why should I be forced to live in a world that doesn't want me here? It seems kinda like a situation that is not ideal and I can fix it if I really, really want to,_ Naruto thought to himself.

Naruto knew Kakashi would report to Tsunade and then medical ninjas would be crawling everywhere. There was no way to fix things, and there was no hope to fix Naruto with his way of "fixing" his problems. Naruto stopped on one of the branches and took out a Kunai and felt a hand around his wrist before he could start hacking away.

"Naruto, you need to drop the Kunai before I have to force you," a soft voice whispered to Naruto.

The blonde knew that voice anywhere. He looked at Kakashi and he gulped. The white-haired ninja had a look in his eyes that told Naruto he would disarm the boy with force, but he really wanted to avoid it if he could. Naruto was done pretending to follow the rules and done trying to make people around him happy. He was tired of failing when he tried so hard. After he started really fighting against Kakashi, Naruto felt him grab the Kunai, and then take Naruto to the ground. He pinned the small boy down and Kakashi said with a sigh, "You're as stubborn as ever."

Naruto started crying. He asked quietly, "Why are you trying to do this to me?"

Kakashi answered, "Because we care about you, Naruto. You shouldn't do this to yourself and you shouldn't have to deal with things on your own."

Naruto felt Kakashi get off as he picked the boy up. He hugged Naruto and said, "I understand how you feel, but this is wrong and you know it."

"I've never felt like it was a problem... Before you guys caught me anyway."

Kakashi said, "I know, but that's because we had no idea what you were doing to yourself. This is unhealthy and you can't keep doing this. I'm taking you to Iruka and we're going to sit down and talk about this or I'll send you straight to Lady Tsunade's office."

After Kakashi and Naruto went to Iruka's apartment, and they waited for Iruka to get home from the academy. Kakashi didn't leave Naruto alone for more than maybe a minute at most; he didn't trust Naruto at the time and he had a good reason not to considering what he saw in the woods.

When Iruka came into the apartment, he walked in with a smile on his face and said, "Hi Kakashi, hey, Naruto. What's going on..."

His voice trailed off and his smile fell to a frown when he read the looks on their faces. Iruka walked over to them and asked, "What happened?"

Kakashi kept his arms crossed and explained what happened. Naruto kept his eyes away from both men's gazes. Iruka sighed and said, "Naruto, please, just talk to one of us. You need to stop."

Naruto snapped. He hissed, "Why should I when before now everything was fine! Before anyone knew, I was doing just fine on my own!"


End file.
